Time to look in the mirror

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visit http://www.waitplate.com for your lifestyle change

How do you feel when you hear “you’re going on a diet”? What feelings does this invoke in you and be honest. Can you hear that little voice saying in panic “I’m going to starve, I’ll be deprived, I can’t do it, I’ll still be hungry, I don’t want to go without”. I know you hear this because I hear it to. That mean little inner voice is screaming NO NO NO! What if I tell you diets don’t work for most people in the long run and I don’t want you to go on diet? Does that make you feel better, relieved even? Diet is a scary word, it has the word “die” in it, and of course we’re going to be afraid of it. What if I tell you the anxiety you feel when it comes to food can be changed, will that help? It can be changed and your relationship with food can be changed.

Let me tell you about my experiences with food. I eat when I’m stressed and emotional, that’s not a surprise most people do. However, the emotions I felt when eating were worse than what I felt before the food. I often would eat to squash an emotion, and as I ate I felt even more ashamed and frankly embarrassed by myself. So I ate more. The more I ate the more I focused on becoming full, overfull, and the quicker I ate the more full I could become. It got me thinking about why I turn to food and my relationship with food. I’ve had body image issues for a very long time; this seems to be happening to more and more people at very young ages. We criticise and scrutinise ourselves until we feel so bad about ourselves that we look to something to make ourselves feel better.

The first time I really criticised myself, and I remember exactly when I first doubted myself, my parents are divorced and I lived with my mother, on a visitation to my father he said to me “Why are you so fat? Doesn’t your mother know anything about nutrition?” I was no more than 6 or 7 years old. This cut me to my core, not so much about me being fat, but criticising the person I love more than anything in this world, my mother. I felt like I was an embarrassment to her because I was fat and people would think she was a bad mother. She wasn’t a bad mother at all. She’s the most amazing person in the world and I wasn’t fat at all. But someone had forced their opinion of what I should look like on me because they have their own issues with themselves. This is the worst thing we can do for each other, but it doesn’t stop people from doing it. During high school I remember overhearing people talking about how fat I was. Once again I wasn’t fat at all. I was very tall, taller than most girls, with broad shoulders but because I didn’t look like the other girls and I was different, I was instantly fat. Once again someone else was forcing their opinion into my mind.

No matter how many times people tell you not to listen to others, it still affects you and deep down. It’s ok to feel these things; sometimes you just can’t help it. The choice though you need to make is whether to keep letting it bother you or not. Be really honest with yourself and let your vain side show, look in the mirror and what do you see? I know there is a very small voice in there that is saying something positive. Sometimes you really have to listen hard, but when you find it turn the volume all the way up. Can you hear that voice telling you you’re too fat? Turn it down and become aware of what you see, remove yourself from your body so to speak and look at your body and let’s make some realisations.

From what I see and I’m being completely honest, I’m a overweight, but I also see, nice hair, nice eyes, I look good in what I’m wearing and what I know for sure, is I’m a good person. I know what I look like physically and rather than attach an emotion like sadness to my negative traits I have removed the emotion and see it for what it is. I focus on the stuff I like about myself and soon everything falls in place. I’m not saying to deny the way you look or your weight, but weight can be changed, you need to change your mind first. Once you start making these positive steps to fixing the way you see yourself then you’ll be in a better place to actually change what you don’t like.

I personally feel no shame in my body, yes I would like to lose weight and have a nice body, but I’m not ashamed. I don’t want to attach those sorts of negative words to myself, so I removed them. It takes a bit of persistence but it’s worth doing.  As the commercials say “You’re worth it”, because you are. Work on focusing on those good things about yourself, you may only find one thing at first, eventually you’ll find more and more.

So what’s the next step? Let’s look at change. Change can be hard, difficult and scary, but it doesn’t have to be. If you’re even thinking about change, then you probably need it. Listen to that inner voice that speaks your truth, we tend to lose our ability to listen to that voice and it becomes hard to hear but you’ll find it. You’ll know what you need and change is not scary. It’s true what they say “change is as good as a holiday”, maybe not a holiday but it’s still pretty good. You’re reading this because you think you’re overweight, that’s ok a lot of people are, but let’s change this. This is where I sound like infomercial, that’s because I believe so much in this that I know it will work for you.

The Waitplate System is your lifestyle change, it’s my lifestyle change. This system address’s the psychological and physical aspects of eating. It takes the guess work out how much and re-teaches you to eat properly. Don’t think of it as a diet (there’s that word again), it’s not, you won’t be deprived and you won’t miss out. In fact the changes happen almost instantly. The first time you try it you’ll realise you haven’t missed out at all. I promise you, you will still feel satisfied after your very first meal and the next and the next. Take that first step and make the change.

So how does it re-teach me? It’s a whole system, the focus is restoring your hunger/satiety response. Think of this as a reset to default for your body. With assistance you’ll restore this balance and eventually you’ll be able to do it on your own. How does it assist you? The Waitplate comes with a unique chew timer to slow down how fast you eat. It also comes with food templates which show you the correct serving of each food, as well as a portion control plate. The thing that won me over was the cutlery. It’s small. Being small serves a purpose though, it’s help you to put smaller amounts of food into your mouth and it works together with the timer to slow down and reduce how much you eat.

So why not take that first step now to making you feel great.

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Obese and empty

There is definitely a link between emotions and eating, I know this because I’m an emotional eater. I looked to food when I’m stressed, anxious, depressed and bored. I suffered from depression a few years ago, I had convinced myself that I was eating the amount of food I was because I wanted to. The truth was that while I was eating I didn’t have to think about anything except the food.

I was depressed because of a venomous relationship. I had no friends, was barely allowed to see my family, I worked in a job I hated and had no money. I think the lowest point for me was going to the local fish and chips shop to buy $5 worth of chips for the 5 night in a row and sitting there waiting completely embarrassed, ashamed and on the verge of tears.  I went home and split a huge amount of chips between my ex-partner and I. I just kept eating and eating, because if I just kept putting food in my mouth I wouldn’t cry and he wouldn’t see me and ridicule me.

I stayed this way for a few years. I look back and think “what the hell was I thinking”. I was in my early twenties; I should have been out having fun, socialising with friends and experiencing life. Instead I wasn’t living, I was just existing, going through each day feeling nothing, I had given up. Although I hated my job, I looked forward each day to going to work; at least the people I worked with were nice to me.  It was a vicious cycle because then I would go home to eat some more so I didn’t have to actually think about how miserable my life was and feel how miserable I was.

I often daydreamed about “my second life” that was the life where I was thin, happy and loved. I would lay in bed thinking of different happy scenarios and major life events until I fell asleep hoping I’d dream of them. Mainly they were finding the love of my life, who actually loved me and fought to keep me. They were like a typical cheesy romantic book. You can predict the ending but you still read it anyway. In fact I read tons of them; they were pure escapism for me.  I never left the house because we never did anything and every time I suggested I wanted to start exercising, I was put down and told I couldn’t do it.

Do you remember that feeling you used to get in your chest when you were yelled at by your parents just before you burst into tears? I lived with that feeling each day, always on the verge of tears but I never cried, I ate. Food was my real life escape. The day I finally broke down and told someone was to my old manager, and I hope she reads this. She was the first person I ever told what was really going. Boy did she not expect that! She pulled me into the office again to talk to me about my performance. Of course I knew how bad I was at my job and I have no idea why on earth they kept me for so long.

Talking to someone really helped me. It felt like I had finally admitted that I wasn’t happy and I wasn’t coping, but it brought me back to reality. When I told her, it felt like part of my mind had cleared and I could start to see what I could to do to solve the problem. After the meeting, I excused myself and went to the bathroom to tidy myself up. I looked in the mirror and saw what I really was for the first time. Obese and empty.

I swear that event was a sign from someone telling me change was coming and it was all ending. Not long after that my mum, who is my saving grace, intervened.  The relationship finally ended, I quit my job and I moved back in with my family. For most young people moving back in with mum and dad at 23 would be embarrassing, but it wasn’t, it was the happiest moment of my life so far. I had almost forgotten what it felt like to be loved so much by people all of the time, not just rarely

Obviously I wasn’t completely whole straight away. It took some time for me to heal, and I still haven’t completely, but nearly. I suffered anxiety really badly along with the depression. Slowly though things changed the first was my relationship with food.

Mum’s cooking is amazing, it was nice to not have to think about what I was eating, and instead I sat with my family at dinner and talked, told stories and laughed. These are some of my favourite memories. No one held grudges they just treated me like they always have. It was just what I needed. Within months weight was just melting away.

12 months later and I had lost over 30kgs and my whole world had changed. Mum controlled my portions, the food I ate, how often I ate and the quality of food I ate. I wasn’t even mad that I was getting less food. I didn’t care because I no longer ate to stop myself from feeling. Instead I ate because my body needed it and meal times were spent with my family. I’m not perfect now, but I’m extremely happy with my life and myself.

I think the best thing you can ever do when you’re depressed is to tell someone. Sometimes it hard to tell someone who is too close what’s wrong; try telling someone who is not actively involved in your life. There are so many free call numbers you can call who can help you. There is nothing wrong with the way you’re feeling, sometimes you just need to stop and really thinking about what’s going on. You know deep down what is making you feel that way, once you admit it to yourself then you can begin to change things and begin to heal.

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Me before, overweight and unhealthy

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After, not the best picture but you get my point 😀

Fill in some time!

ImageFor the last few weeks I’ve been trying to think of a hobby to fill in some time, but in all honesty I’m madly into something for 5 minutes and then I’m over it and I know I’m not the only one! So it made me think, what do I actually enjoy doing, talking about and interested in? Food always popped into my head, but well, food can’t be a hobby (as much as I would love it be). I love eating food, cooking food, learning about food and talking about food. So it hit me one day, why not start a blog about food. I know there are people out there who can’t cook but want to know how, who have heard of the latest food crazes but are not quite sure what they are, how to cook on a budget and healthy alternatives for your favourite meals.

Now I am in no way a qualified nutritionist or experienced chef, nor am I claiming to be. I simply am just a normal person who enjoys eating good food with a nice glass of wine! I haven’t always enjoyed cooking; in fact a few years ago I hated it. That was until I met my current boyfriend, who was able to cook a few meals and how embarrassing for me, at the time being 23 and not knowing how to cook a single thing, literally I burnt water! I forgot I left the pot on the stove with water boiling! So I hung around mum for a few meals and slowly learnt one meal at a time.

I had always wanted to learn how, but being a day dreamer I would spend my time thinking about being a fabulous hostess, serving excellent meals which everyone was jealous of. My house would be the one that everyone turns up to when they want a hot meal and to ask for advice and me being so wonderful always had something cooking and spoke nothing but words of wisdom. Not to mention I would be size 10, wearing pearls, a 50’s style dress and a cute apron. Well that certainly wasn’t the case! In fact I was a size 16, self-conscious person, who at the point had withdrawn so far into myself, I had doubts about myself and who I was. The story on how that happened is probably another blog!

So continuing on, after a nasty break up and moving back into my parents’ house, so forth and so forth. I met Cameron and well, I may have embellished slightly on the truth of my cooking skills to him, so I had to learn and quickly. I observed my mother cooking a few meals and sat down and thought about how to make something, anything. My first successful dish was mushroom pasta. It was seriously good, and impressed my new boyfriend. One thing lead to another and now here we are 3 years later and I discovered a passion for food, for healthy options, learning, eating and a glass of wine along the way.

After this long winded introduction all I can say is, this is what I want to share with you. I want to share with you my cooking journey, the successes and the failures, and hopefully you learn something along the way! What I want for you is to come along for the ride and share with me your experiences. So have a drink and enjoy!